Ok, we've come to the "do nots". These are the negative atributes that we should try to eliminate in our lives. I'm all for trying to have less envy, but I struggle with do nots. I like to focus on what I want to do more.
I prefer to use Positive Language when I'm making goals.
Positive Language doesn't mean using kind or uplifting words. It means saying what you want to do. I really got into this habit with my work with neuro-diverse people and small children, but I think it is really important in goal setting as well.
It is really hard for our brains to picture "do nots". Negative commands like don't yell, no smoking, and no parking are all around us. But if you close your eyes and imagine someone not parking in that spot, what does that look like? What about someone not smoking or not yelling? Can you see it?
It isn't always natural for our brains to fill in the right thing to do instead of the unwanted behavior. This is espessially true for small children and people with developmental disabilities, but it is also very true for teenagers, and for us as adults. Saying what we want to do instead of focusing on what we don't want to do is very helpful. Asking a small child for example, to "walk slowly" is so much more effective than telling them to "stop running".
So, I will use positive language in my goal setting. Instead of calling this month No Envy, I will define it as More Gratitude for what we have and Empathy for others.
I hope that works for everyone. I will also work on not envying just like I am working on not being impatient and unkind.
If the Virtue I'm working on for the month doesn't seem to corespond with the virtues from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, It is probably because I'm using positive language.
And of course, If you think I got it wrong, and I'm focusing on the wrong thing, please let me know.