Showing Kindness to Ourselves

Showing Kindness to Ourselves

Ok, this is a more vulnerable post for me. I struggle with being kind to myself. I have high expectations for myself, and as someone with a chronic debilitating condition, I find that I can’t meet far too many of those expectations. This leads me to feelings of low self-esteem, low self-worth, and depression.

I know years ago people like me would call ourselves Spoonies. I’m not sure what the term is now. I have very limited energy and stamina. Some days are better, and some days, I’m struggling to even get out of bed.

I see the projects around my house that need to be done, and they used to just reinforce in my head how little worth I had. These are not things I would ever think of someone else, but I haven’t been a very good friend to me.

Since I am working on Kindness this month, I decided to really work on ways I can be kinder to myself. One way that has worked well and makes me so happy, is changing my expectations.

Instead of thinking that I need to clean and organize the whole craft room, I am challenging myself to put away 25 things in the craft room every day.

25 items aren’t very many things in a room that has been used as a dumping ground. I count everything I pick up and put away. That may be a poster board, and it may be a gum wrapper or anything in between. For the first 3 days, you couldn’t even tell that I did anything. I worked hard to show patience and trust that doing a little was better than doing nothing.

On the 4th day, you could really see a difference. It was not close to being done, but it looked better. My husband noticed when he got home, and he was impressed. That felt really good. After a week, I have a usable craft room again, and I didn’t do too much and end up paying for it.

Most days I spent 10-15 minutes cleaning and putting things away. It isn’t a lot. It feels really good to see that I can do those things around the house if I am kind and patient with myself.

If you don’t relate to this issue, I’m really happy for you. But you probably know someone who does. If you deal with a chronic health condition, or depression, or any other condition that makes doing big projects difficult, I hope you try this.

Doing a little bit might not seem like much. You might not be able to see any difference at first, but consistently doing a little bit does eventually make a big difference! If 25 things seem like too much, do 10. If you can’t do 10, do 5. The point is do something every day and those things we feel like we want to get done, or need to get done, will get done.

And remember this isn’t about being perfect. If you miss a day, or 2, just start again. Being kind to ourselves means giving ourselves the grace to make mistakes and try again.

I’m grateful for this opportunity to focus on kindness and for learning ways I can show kindness to myself. I would love to hear if you think this would be something that would help you too.


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